when we run out of excuses….


In all we learned as a child, there was no real choice. To make it clear: as a child the option to go and live in the neighbours house with that family wasn’t available. So we learned how to deal with situations where there was no choice.

As a consequence we often don’t see that we have a choice. And to put it even clearer: we often don’t realize that we need to make a choice to not get lost.

To commit is about making clear choices. It’s about ‘no’ and ‘yes’. Therefore it’s one of the biggest challenges of adult life.

When we meet something new in our life and feel fascinated about it – a new methodology for growth, a new work direction, a new partner, …-, we often pretend we can have it all, the old paths we were following until now and the new. The child in us thinks that’s a good way to deal with situations. It is voracious and hasn’t learned that commitment is needed to really deepen the understanding, to integrate and apply the new.

If you want to go to Rome, there might be 10 different roads which can lead you there. But if you take them all 10 at the same time you get lost.

Every commitment, every ‘yes’ means we say ‘no’ to something else. The child in us has many excuses to avoid this ‘no’. He doesn’t want to deal with the consequences. So he never will experience the strength, respect and freedom of a real ‘yes’.