EACH RELATIONSHIP IS AN ATTEMPT TO HEAL
Let’s look at our intimate relationships, professional contacts, relationships we have with our children, what we look for in therapists, mentors, …
It’s a bit naïve and short-minded to think we only have relationships out of primal necessity – because we felt in love (partner), because we need money (work), because we wanted children, because we are stuck (therapist) -.
There is something bigger pushing us. We humans carry what therapists like to call ‘unfinished business’, or ‘split parts’. We could see them as lacks of balance in our mental, emotional, energetical and attitude-realm. We can sense them – perceive them – through relationships with others. We look for others as a mirror to see ourselves – the broken parts and the whole -. We are relationship and need relationship. All trauma is relational. By consequence all healing is as well. It is related to the process of getting aware in different levels and realms.
I like to see life as one big opportunity to heal, to heal our soul or spirit or whatever name we give to what is beyond. All that is happening to us, is then an opportunity to learn, and by consequence heal.
Whatever healing process can be seen in its essence as the healing of a fractured bone. There is trauma. We have two bone pieces. After a healing process they are one again.
Our broken parts and the reasons we have them, can’t be understood nor healed looking at the events the same way we learned as a child. We all start life with a limited and quite narrowminded perception. This includes trauma-dynamics and lacks of balance we are unaware off. The different relationships we have – mother, father, siblings, friends, lovers, colleagues, children, mentors, … – give us an indication of what is broken in us and by consequence what healing could mean for us. They are a path, an invitation for a journey towards more awareness. It is evident that our resources are closely linked with and based on the difficulties we meet and face on this journey.
It is our responsibility to walk this path or not. To learn or to repeat without learning. Whatever step we refuse to take, will represent itself again and again. We are entirely responsible for all relationships we have, for the therapists, mentors and healing methods we choose, for our emotional and mental balance, energy and attitude. We have the key of our healing in our hand.