We cannot live without getting hurt. Hurt by events of live, mostly induced by others, mostly people who are important to us.

Big part of what we unconsciously learned since early childhood is how to prevent ourselves from being hurt. These learned defensive programs expire progressively once we are in adult life.

Each time we get hurt, our system warns us we need an update. An update is a change of perception. What is hurtful for a child is not necessarily hurtful for an adult.

We give our computers and smartphones updates each time they ask it.


A moment of hurt is the right time. Good questions to facilitate this process are:

<  Are you open to learn something new? To the possibility there are some elements you might not see for the moment?

<  Is the enemy outside yourself? Or inside?

<  Are you aware you have a choice? That you can affect your mental and emotional reaction in this situation?

<  Do you need acknowledgment from the outside world or from yourself? Which one of both options would be simple and effective?

<  Do you know how you can find the difference in yourself between pain and suffering?

Let suffering not be your first choice!