Bart De Coninck

Heroes

“A hero is a man willing to learn about himself.” 

So a hero is a seeker, a man who wants to know who he is, beyond his automatic reactions and feelings. It definitely asks courage and strength to go inside and discover undercurrents of one’s behavior and thinking.

HEROES is a project in which Bart brings men together to inspire and support each other on this journey. Every man is welcome regardless his background, education and experience.

 

 

 

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THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

November 19, 2020

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL Welcome on earth! Here the rules are simple and clear. Do you want to live? To participate fully? Or do you want to stay at the sideline and watch the others? You will sadly never be rewarded for hiding, for letting others go first, for denying what you want, … […]

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TO RENOUNCE IS THE EASY WAY …

November 19, 2020

It is tempting to renounce. Saying NO is easier than saying YES. In the first place to ourselves. We are so used to hide, in the first place from ourselves. Our biggest hiding strategy is behind our opinions. Behind the fuss we make – inside our thoughts and out there, in the opinions we bring […]

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HOW NATURE WORKS

November 11, 2020

HOW NATURE WORKS “The major problems in the world are the result of the difference between how nature works and the way people think”.                       – Gregory Bateson – One of the most useful things we can learn as a human is that our way of thinking and feeling is somehow limiting us. It limits the […]

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TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

November 1, 2020

TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY = DEATH OF THE EGO My ego is how I identify with suffering and dying. When I start taking responsibility my ego slowly withdraws. My actions, decisions and power tend to serve life instead of reinforcing the walls around me. Acknowledgment of my defense system, of how I create and participate in […]

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UP THERE

October 20, 2020

WE ALL WANT TO BE FREE UP THERE… BUT HOW ABOUT DOWN HERE ON EARTH? Times like these show us how big the influence of our imaginary child is. It seems easier to dream than to deal efficiently and with discipline with new challenges. Non-realistic solutions which of course need to be effectuated by others, […]

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YES AND NO

October 18, 2020

When we allow ourselves to have a deeper look inside ourselves we find far more hidden NO’s than expected. We need a partner, work, friends, colleagues, … But at the same time the automatic reflex to protect ourselves and hide is strong. So the messages are confusing – inside messages and what we communicate outside […]

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HOW MANY TIME DO YOU SPEND DOUBTING?

October 10, 2020

One of the major traps of our mind is the thought that we have to be sure before making a move or a decision. The truth is that we can’t predict the future. No human can. So, waiting will not bring the wished answers. Good questions are: “Do I want to invest in a new […]

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INFORMATION

October 8, 2020

Isn’t this an exciting, overwhelming idea!? Indestructible and timeless information is out there available. Of course reaching this information asks preparation and focus. All we learned since early childhood limits our access to this information. So the preparation is about de-learning and de-constructing our deepest perception and blueprint. This de-learning will also influence the way […]

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COMMITMENT

October 7, 2020

COMMITMENT ? when we run out of excuses….   In all we learned as a child, there was no real choice. To make it clear: as a child the option to go and live in the neighbours house with that family wasn’t available. So we learned how to deal with situations where there was no […]

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GROWTH, LOVE and MAGIC

October 4, 2020

The child in us has so much power. It sometimes convinces us to wait for change in others in order to become happy. It is specialized in mistakes and needs which can’t be fullfilled. What if we change perspective?! What if we tell him to calm down a bit? What if we help him to […]

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THE ESSENCE OF LEARNING IS DE-LEARNING

September 27, 2020

We just finished the second module of the Training in Transpersonal Coaching – Part 1 Online in Spanish. So happy to experience we never resign the new, whatever it may cost. Beauty is hidden in the most simple movement. I am happy to contribute to this learning community. To learn is a privilege. Thank you […]

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BETTER-PARENT-PROJECTION

September 7, 2020

When we work with clients as a coach, therapist, counselor or facilitator we need as much presence and awareness as possible – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually -. The more we can manage to be in balance and grounded in these realms, the more we will be able to stay free and available for the […]

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ALIVE

September 5, 2020

In less than an hour a beautiful group of men waits for me to start the online workshop New Heroes. Being able to invite these men is an amazing gift to myself. It opens me, softens, energizes, … Each step in the journey of learning to love myself is worthwhile. Contact with the wild and […]

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BE WHO YOU ARE

September 4, 2020

Who am I then? Am I what I think? Am I what I feel? Am I what I need? Am I what I want? Not easy to find simple answers. To be human is a privilege just because we grow out of that confused state of mind. Being who we are is not automatically achieved. […]

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COMMUNITY

September 4, 2020

Relationship & Community I love to think that we – the human race – are only at the beginning of what a deeper understanding of relationship and by extension community could be. It seems obvious that we need to look beyond all we learned since early childhood – family, education, culture, religion, …- to get […]

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FEAR

September 2, 2020

We live in cosy time, wrapped in illusions of safety and control. This means that our individual and collective control tendencies automatically receive a lot of space without us having to face the underlying fears. We are not aware that more control does not mean more life, quite the opposite. Life is by definition uncontrollable, […]

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BAD BOY? GOOD BOY?

September 1, 2020

In the inner journey of most men the integration of their badboy-projections is primordial to create change. Most men start their life unconsciously comparing and competing with their father. If we broaden our view, we see many ways to compete, many stiles, some of them sneaky, hidden, other more obvious. Some men are not aware […]

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MEN WHO INSPIRE ME

August 31, 2020

This week I have a ‘men-special’ on social media. Time to celebrate who we are! Next Saturday I will facilitate a men group on-line NEW HEROES. The first men group since January. Looking forward! Men welcome!

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EACH RELATIONSHIP IS AN ATTEMPT TO HEAL

August 30, 2020

Let’s look at our intimate relationships, professional contacts, relationships we have with our children, what we look for in therapists, mentors, … It’s a bit naïve and short-minded to think we only have relationships out of primal necessity – because we felt in love (partner), because we need money (work), because we wanted children, because […]

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MY OWN WORST ENEMY?

August 27, 2020

·      If I choose for drama-energy instead of acknowledging pain ·      If I choose for excuses instead of trying ·      If I choose for doubt instead of trusting my fear ·      If I blame others instead of taking responsibility ·      If I blame myself instead of taking responsibility ·      If I repeat my story and […]

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COMMUNITY

August 18, 2020

Consciousness is Relationship is Matter is not These are amazing words of Ervin Lazlo. It has been an unbelievable privilege to learn about what reconstructive is about the last 7 years. I learned most as a facilitator, facilitating my groups again and again, participating at trainings again and again, not so much in books. Looking […]

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VIOLENCE

August 16, 2020

Violence fascinates me. Of course everyone’s definition of violence is different. That’s where we already might loose one another. But I really like the idea of all humans being equally violent deep inside, in our instinctive essence. The only difference is how we show and hide it to the world. Denying what enrages me out […]

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RESPONSIBILITY

August 2, 2020

Saturday-evening Carola Castillo and I closed the worldwide free webinar-tour of our school with an English webinar, the 5th in the row after two Spanish webinars, a Brazilian one and a Dutch one. It was an amazing joyful experience. To be able to open up towards so many interested participants and speak about our journey […]

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BEING SPIRITUAL

July 20, 2020

What does it mean? A lot of images of spirituality relate to a longing for enlightenment. We state that the only place to find this ‘light’ is in our own dark.  Survival strategies are all we learned since we were little in an attempt to hide. It’s is 95 % of our behavior, feelings and […]

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LIFE

July 18, 2020

LIFE! A good focus to start this day. It’s so easy to feel discomfort or limitations. Our senses are directed outwards. In a certain way they are trained to look outside for trouble. And yes, on and on they find trouble. We don’t have senses to look, hear, smell, taste and feel inside. So we need […]

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HUMAN SHADOW

July 16, 2020

I offer myself an exciting professional journey. ·       I worked years as a doctor, fascinated by life and dead. ·       I work since years as a psychotherapist, fascinated by the adult and the child in us. ·       And I work as a teacher in reconstructive, fascinated by human masks and shadows. Shadows intrigue us humans. […]

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DO YOU INVEST IN PROBLEMS OR IN SOLUTIONS?

July 12, 2020

DO YOU WAIT FOR OTHERS TO BRING SOLUTIONS ? In our perception rescue comes from outside ourselves. Snow White slept for hundred years until the Prince kisses her and she wakes up… We all have that strategy really deep in our belief system. We switch from one rescuer to another in the hope faith will […]

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FACING FEAR

July 9, 2020

Fear is a mysterious emotion. It has the potential to lead us. Most of us learned to distrust our own fear. We deny it, ignore it, fight it, run away from it, blow it out of proportion, dramatize it, … All strategies in the infantile hope to control it without much success. When I face […]

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ME AND MY JOURNEY

July 5, 2020

We are looking to give ourselves value and respect. And this is sometimes complicated, because the choices we make and what we do, seem not always dignifying: patrons, repetition, hesitation, confusion, conflict, … We might forget that the journey is the most important.  And our journey is often more heroic than we realize. Our willingness […]

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SHADOW AND LIGHT

July 3, 2020

Nothing more fascinating than shadow and light! Maybe it’s the incapacity of us, humans to perceive the bigger picture that creates so much fear is us towards life. The universal ‘man and his mask’ is a mystery of life. The tendency of every human being to show himself differently from his inner truth and the […]

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LOVE ANIMALS

June 27, 2020

There is something really fascinating about animals and their relationship to life. Since early childhood I watch animals, all kinds of them. I love the way they are who they are. I love their joy, although situations are sometimes clearly not ideal for them. They teached me about how sacred life is. Slowly I am […]

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NEW CHALLENGES

June 27, 2020

Sometimes as we grow older we tend to think life should get easier and easier. And on a certain level it does. Once I tasted the smell of real freedom it gets easier and easier to free myself. On an other level the biggest joy and freedom in life is to devote to what’s bigger […]

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